SELF-CONFIDENCE/BOOSTING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt

This is a really perturbing situation in society nowadays, I mean it’s so alarming the way people let
thoughts of others get to them, the way people are guided by what the society has to say about them. All
I wish is that people can know and understand their worth even if others don’t. Because really, that’s
what matters most. The way you see yourself, and not the way others see you. You’re not in this world
to live up to anybody’s expectation! It’s so disheartening to see young girls and guys hustling and trying
to “feel among”, they go out of their way to ensure they’re living up to others expectation. They want to
be doing the “in” thing, I am not saying we shouldn’t be up-to- date and all but if you can’t handle it,
don’t, don’t bother.
I want to remind us that all fingers are not equal, we were made different and we should act so. Be
yourself, believe in yourself in the way no one else can, self doubt kills more dreams than failure ever
will. Criticism is just someone else’s opinion, even people who are experts in their fields are sometimes
wrong. It is up to you to believe some of it, none of it or all of it. What you think is what counts. Don’t
be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth. The moment you
doubt yourself you cease to be able to do whatever forever, so just look up to yourself! There’s no limit
to what you can achieve except the limits you place by your own self. Believe you can and you’re
halfway there, I do not believe in taking the right decision, I take a decision and make it right! If being
an egomaniac means believing in what you do, that is, in your art, music, acting, anything at all, then
just be an egomaniac. As soon as you trust yourself you’ll know how to live. You are who you are, no
more and no less.
Dear friends, there’s nothing as beautiful as yourself and no matter how much you try to be someone
else it’ll never happen. Have you even realised that when you finally try to settle to yourself and do your

own thing it always turns out wonderful and pretty much fulfilling? Always. As maturing adults and
future leaders of tomorrow, I’m sure we all have that one aim in life whether its a business plan or
whatever, there’ll be challenges definitely but always remember backing out isn’t the answer, look on
the brighter side of life, pursue your ambition painstakingly, never give up without a fight and don’t lose
focus, mistakes are meant to be learnt from.
At any given point you can release your greatest self. Don’t let anyone hold you back. Don’t let anyone
dilute you. Don’t be peer-pressured into being less than you are. People being willing to dilute
themselves for the sake of others is the greatest tragedies of our time. Stop letting others define and set
the pace for your life. Get out there and be your best. Do your best. Live your best. Make everyday
count and you’ll see how exponentially more exciting, thrilling, successful, happy and full your life will
be.
This is basically my opinion on this topic and beyond lol (cos I know I went pretty deep). If you have
any questions or suggestions feel free to drop them in the comment box.Thank you. Have a wonderful
week ahead.

RECOGNISING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked,
excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than
physical. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step
to ending it. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following descriptions of
abuse, reach out now. There is help available. No one should live in fear of the person
they love.

Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to violence. And
while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological
consequences of domestic abuse are also severe. Emotionally abusive relationships can
destroy your self-worth, lead to anxiety and depression, and make you feel helpless and
alone. No one should have to endure this kind of pain—and your first step to breaking free
is recognizing that your situation is abusive. Once you acknowledge the reality of the
abusive situation, you can get the help you need.
To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions below
truthfully. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive
relationship.
Your own thoughts and feelings. Do you:
 Feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
 Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
 Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
 Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
 Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
 Feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Your partner’s behaviour
Does your partner:
 Humiliate or yell at you?
 Criticize you and put you down?
 Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
 Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
 Blame you for their own abusive behaviour?
 See you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
 Have a bad and unpredictable temper?
 Hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
 Threaten to take your children away or harm them?
 Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
 Force you to have sex?

 Destroy your belongings?
 Act excessively jealous and possessive?
 Control where you go or what you do?
 Keep you from seeing your friends or family?
 Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
 Constantly check up on you?
If 40% of these questions turns out to be yes, you need to leave now! You can always
get help, a lot of agencies are around and ready to help protect and help you get out of
that situation. Don’t just sit back, wake the fighting spirit in you and seek help.
LOTS OF BEAR HUGS AND STRENGTH.

-By Adebayo promise.

WHO ARE THOSE IMMORTAL ONES?

Are they as stones?
Are they the holy statues of gold?
Are they not those stories we read over?
And over till we become them. Imitating-
who they were, becomin’ the dead once again.
Here, you see a zombie- the walkin’ dead.
You a bunch of them, bundled in offices.
In a taunt of becomin’ the future.
Yet, bathing in the past. Maskin’ freedom.
With the voice of a boss, ‘n chains of his dreams.
Dragged into homes, arguments made before-
the full moon, frowns kept till dawn. Silence beckons.
Or the azygous beings who remain-
nocturnal wonderin’ where they belong.
Workin’ endlessly for a reckless soul-
claiming the dream of unity, in his honor.
Blessing their hard work, often with a raise.
For the dream of one, many shall suffer.

 

-by Meth Minerva

DON’T STOP TRYING.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career, I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times
I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over
and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. – Michael Jordan.

These are the words of one of world’s best basketball players in history, and you
notice the word “best”. Do the best people in their field actually fail? YES! And
they’re still recognized as the best. You may think, why would someone who
has missed 9000 shots still be the best? It’s just trial, He tried again, he didn’t
stop there, He didn’t give up, he tried it again, and again, and again.
Today I’ll be writing about trials, trying, giving up.
Imagine you’re in a very public place right now, looking all swaged up, it could
be your school auditorium, a dinner, a party, anywhere at all. Imagine you trip
and fall, you don’t even know what caused it, but you just see yourself on the
floor and everyone is staring. You get up quickly, embarrassed and all but you
get up definitely, you don’t want to remain there and everyone’s watching, no,
you try your best to stand up immediately even hoping no one saw you. You do
it fast and easy.
There’s nothing disheartening as putting all your best in something and it
doesn’t come out fruitful or how you want it to, it’s just too sad. We’ll read very
hard for quizzes and it turns out horrific and we’ll just decide not to stress it
when it’s time for examinations. But have we really asked ourselves if that’s the
best option? Have we asked ourselves if doing that will make things any better?
Giving up is a very big thing to me and I’m not always happy when I hear
“okay, I’m done, I am not trying anymore”. That’s the line of a coward my dear
and it’s not the best.  Push farther. Push more. Try again, there’s no harm in that,
you won’t get it right but there will surely be a change.
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. It can be stupid,
people may laugh at you, mock you, say all sorts but you just got to chin up.
If it is stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid anymore. Each mistake teaches you
something new about yourself, there is no failure, remember, except in no
longer trying. It is the courage to continue that counts. It is common sense to
take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above
all keep trying.
As old as this song is I still enjoy listening to the lyrics because it’s really
inspiring;
“When there is a desire, there’s gonna be a flame,
When there’s a flame, someone is bound to get burned,
But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die,
You gotta get up and try and try and try…”
-Try by Pink
There is no such thing as ‘going back to square one’, even if you feel like you’re
having to start over, you are trying again with more knowledge, strength and
power than you had before. Your journey was never over, it was just waiting for
you to find it again.

I totally love Richelle E. Goodrichs words in her book- Smile anyway
Play it again. Sing it again. Read it again. Write it again
Sketch it again. Rehearse it again. Run it again. Try it again.
Because again is practice, and practice is improvement,
And improvement only leads to perfection.
I really hope you don’t stop trying.

 

-BY OLIVE NWAFOR

Surviving through a Nigerian university.

Surviving through university is one of the hardest things to do in life” – there I said it – and I don’t mean
going into university to freestyle and graduate with a pass, no. I mean actually passing through school and
school passing through you, making your A’s, going through all the physical and emotional challenges,
balancing academic, social and spiritual life, making life changing decisions, running a business (in some
cases) and basically living and making the most out of being in school . Staying in school is HARD (but then, what is not hard in Nigeria?)
Many youths in Nigeria today drop out from school due to inability to cope under these circumstances and I’m not even going to blame them entirely because half the time we are not mentally prepared for all the campus ups and downs and everyone definitely has a threshold.

Fresh out of high school we are all so pumped and hyped to get into university because we are going to be
‘free’ from parents/guardians and are so excited to take charge of our lives and do whatever we like that
we miss the whole plot and we get so disappointed when things don’t go as planned in our head and
halfway into the first semester and we realize ‘this thing no be joke oh” and we keep managing this
hardship four to five to six years into school. I’ll be pointing out some tips in this post on how to survive
being in the university from the first day.

1. HAVE ZERO EXPECTATIONS: This will probably save you from a whole lot of emotional trauma. Right
after senior year we usually get this talk from people on what to ‘expect’ in school. Now there’s a
difference between taking advice and moving based on some advice. If Mary says “school is tough, it’s not
worth it. You’ll go through a lot that don’t matter, don’t stress, nobody makes it out alive” (literally
speaking), you’re obviously going to have this notion and if you operate based on this, it’s exactly what you
get. Have little or no expectations from what school delivers and everything will be fine.

2. CONNECT/MEET WITH PEOPLE ON ALL LEVELS: The first time I started walking up to people to ask
questions and clarify things started in the university and by doing that I met a lot of people from different
classes and departments and things became less difficult. I’ll advise you to drop that quiet/shy/closed-
up/double-thinking personality at home and be ready to move with the flow because 90% of your first time
in that large organization will be profound confusion and shyness won’t take you far enough.

3. HAVE FAITH/BELIEVE IN SOMETHING: Or hold on to something (because faith is quite cliché). I have
faith in God, I have faith in something. If things are spiraling out of my control then I know who to
run/speak to. This should be same for everyone trying to cross a major hurdle(like school), you need to
have something/someone you live for during trying times because there are times we all get down to our
last and this where your faith comes in.

4. READ, READ, READ: Reading is largely underrated especially in school and you only know this when you
actually start reading a lot (6-8 hours). I always used to think I was a good reader until I started reading for
long hours then I realized those times were child’s play. I just want to put it out there that effective reading
will get you far more than you expect and this is a proven fact. For tips on how to read effectively read
here http://whytoread.com/how-to- read-simple- reading-strategies- read-effectively

5. PLAY: Play as much as you work because your brain cells need it. Learn to unwind. Take a break no
matter how busy you get and this will keep you happier and more motivated to get school work done.

6. JOIN EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES/DO WHAT YOU LOVE: There are a thousand after school work
that goes on in and around school to engage in from school politics, singing groups, movie/drama groups,
volunteer work, and many others. Engage in what you enjoy doing! Apply to learn a skill, develop that
talent of yours and watch your school life thrive.

-By Olive Nwafor.