Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked,
excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than
physical. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step
to ending it. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following descriptions of
abuse, reach out now. There is help available. No one should live in fear of the person
they love.

Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to violence. And
while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological
consequences of domestic abuse are also severe. Emotionally abusive relationships can
destroy your self-worth, lead to anxiety and depression, and make you feel helpless and
alone. No one should have to endure this kind of pain—and your first step to breaking free
is recognizing that your situation is abusive. Once you acknowledge the reality of the
abusive situation, you can get the help you need.
To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions below
truthfully. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive
Your own thoughts and feelings. Do you:
 Feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
 Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
 Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
 Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
 Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
 Feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Your partner’s behaviour
Does your partner:
 Humiliate or yell at you?
 Criticize you and put you down?
 Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
 Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
 Blame you for their own abusive behaviour?
 See you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
 Have a bad and unpredictable temper?
 Hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
 Threaten to take your children away or harm them?
 Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
 Force you to have sex?

 Destroy your belongings?
 Act excessively jealous and possessive?
 Control where you go or what you do?
 Keep you from seeing your friends or family?
 Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
 Constantly check up on you?
If 40% of these questions turns out to be yes, you need to leave now! You can always
get help, a lot of agencies are around and ready to help protect and help you get out of
that situation. Don’t just sit back, wake the fighting spirit in you and seek help.

-By Adebayo promise.

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